er, this is an extremely lame bit of fluff i wrote in spanish. because i felt romeo and juliet had some distinctly potter tones to it. (oh that shakespeare, trying to make off with jk rowling's work; thinks he can get away with it just cause he's 500 years older than her) so i readapted a scene from romeo and juliet to... well. :) the lines are kinda sorta supposed to match up.
REMUS/ BENVOLIO (hehe taken a bit from shoebox for its fabulosity)
DUMBLEDORE/ PRINCE ESCALUS
(Snape is looking for James outside the Gryffindor portrait.
He sits, looking livid, and twitching a tiny bit, takes out a book.
James and Sirius prance on stage, happy)
SIRIUS: Could you look a little more eager to read The Third Manifesto on Being Freakish and Creepy?
(Snape looks up)
Hey, his facial expression changed! James, help me out here. I can't tell if he's constipated or angry. What do you think? (tilts head thoughtfully)
SNAPE: (quietly mumbling) Go away. I didn't do anything.
SIRIUS: (cheerfully) Wrongity wrong wrong wrong! You (prods) blinded me with the greasy sheen on your hair.
Sun hits it, blinds me--makes me squinty. No one likes a squinty noggin.
I could trim your locks-- just around the ears a little? (waves wand)
SNAPE: (stands suddenly) You shouldn't have done that.
JAMES: (obnoxiously) Pads, I know you love Snape, but you have to learn to let go. Down, boy. (winks)
SIRIUS: (barks) Only because he's so fun to play with!
(Sirius and Snape start hurling curses at each other. Destruction: It happens. James becomes worried.)
JAMES: Pads! Stop! (desperately, but still joking a little) Snape, Lily wouldn't want you defiling her very favorite corridor!
SNAPE: Don't even-- shut up! Shut--up!
JAMES: (calling offstage) Moony! Help me! They're going to hurt each other! DUMBLEDORE IS GOING TO SET
YOU ON FIRE WITH HIS LEFT NOSTRIL!
SIRIUS: (turns towards James, laughing-- Snape throws a curse at him, then looks horrified and runs. Sirius
lays bleeding from his side on the floor.)
Gryffindor and Slytherin-- both houses are thoroughly buggered now, eh? McGonagall's gonna
dock us at least four billion of those red things. Hey, Prongs, guess what? I took your fight. I owe you one. (Nurse Pomfrey approaches) So you can (breathes deeply) take on Pomfrey for me. You're welcome. Next time (heaves) don't distract me with tender words of Dumbledore's beauty.